PsicoGDL

There is really only one way to prove to authorities if your child is being abused and that is to trust the person who watches your children in the first place. But often the person you trust is a child abuser or even worse, a child molester which will psychologically destroy the child later in life. So who can you trust. The sad truth is you can trust no one. Not you fiends, spouse, babysitter or relative.
The best way is to install a hidden cameras into rooms so you can monitor your child to see what is going on when you are away and can’t be with your child.
The hard core facts are that today, Most abused and neglected children never come to the attention of government authorities because it’s a case of he said/she. Child abuse statistics in our government are never accurate. Authorities ask parents to recall and report abuse that they may have experienced in childhood. Many child abuse stories you here go unreported due to lack of concrete evidence that the abuse even happened at all!
Also, there are many types of child abuse from physical neglect to hitting or beating or just verbal abuse which sometime is even worse than physical abuse. Then there is incest which is when the parent has sex with his or her child which will totally mess the child up for life.
Using hidden cameras is key rooms where your child spends his time is vital to insure that he or she is safe from child abuse. At the very least, by using a hidden camera you will be able to prove to authorities that the your child was definitely abused therefore you will be able to prosecute that person with authorities later on.
We give you a list of some of the best hidden cameras than can be used to prevent child abuse or at the very least prove that your child was abused by a nanny, babysitter, friend or parent.
1) The Air Wick Fresh Matic hidden camera is non-functioning as an air freshener but is perfect as a hidden camera. You’ll be able to see everything happening and watch your child in the comfort of any room in your house and catch child abuse before it happens.
2) A Hidden Camera disguised as a Puppy Dog that lets you see and hear everything using a hidden camera and speaker. The signal is transmitted to a hand-held portable LCD monitor that you can carry around the house while doing chores or housework.
3) Yellow Monster Hidden Camera Disguised as a Yellow Monster put this in where your young child or baby is to safeguard against potential child abusers.
4) The Down-View Smoke Detector hidden camera works by mounting it to the ceiling. Put it in locations where your child is in the most until you get home.
Many other ordinary everyday objects can have hidden cameras in them that are completely undetectable by a potential child abuser.
Each of the above hidden cameras are designed to attach to your TV or to a Digital Video Recorder in which you can record all the activity that the camera sees.
Many times monitoring for child abuse from a remote location is very desirable. Many parents today work on computers at work and need a way to monitor their children when at work to make sure they are safe from child abuse. So there is a 4 Channel Wireless Visec Surveillance System that really is a great and easy system to set up. It can monitor and record up to 4 rooms. Perfect to see pictures of child abuse or detect signs of child abuse.
The best part about a Visec Surveillance System is that the cameras are out in full view and by being visible will let the child abuser know he or she is being watched thus making it less likely your child will be abused in the first place!

Once a child moves beyond breastfeeding, it’s up to us parents to take on the awesome responsibility of navigating our way through a pretty lousy American diet and nourishing our kids in ways that help — not hinder — their growing bodies and brains.

This is more challenging than it ought to be, because the American diet — especially for kids — is so skewed toward empty calories. Too many of the foods favored by kids have too much carbohydrate and sugar but not enough protein and far too few good fats (especially EFAs) and micronutrients.

It’s our job, then, to make sure that our kids aren’t poisoned or sickened by diets that are aggressively high in sugar and high in saturated fat but low in protein, vitamins, minerals, and essential trace elements. We need to resist the urge to let marketing efforts (especially those of the fast-food industry) lure us into giving our kids the wrong kind of nutrition. Instead, we have to dedicate ourselves to feeding them adequate amounts of the six key nutrients.

Over the years, parents have asked me to provide a quick overview of the basic dietary guidelines they should follow with their children in order to promote optimal brain health and development, which also means optimal overall growth and development.

Dr. Shannon’s Basic Dietary Guidelines for All Children

If you have the desire to enrich your child’s diet in order to safe-guard healthy brain growth and development, here are a few simple guidelines that may help. I encourage you to consider these suggestions, but please disregard those that don’t apply to your child. For example, if you already know that your child has a peanut allergy, of course she shouldn’t eat nuts. If your toddler seems to tolerate dairy well, there’s no need to switch him to rice or soy products. Feeding our children well requires effort, but it isn’t complicated. The results will be well worth the effort. Here are the basics.

Ensure that your child is well hydrated and drinks plenty of water every day. This may seem like a no-brainer, but even slight dehydration makes the effective absorption of all other nutrients impossible.

Make sure that your child gets enough protein. Unlike carbohydrates, protein is a steady, slow-release form of energy. I recommend eating two servings a day of chicken, fish, tofu, eggs, or meat.

Emphasize good oils. Monounsaturated and polyunsaturated oils such as olive oil and canola oil are good choices. Use butter instead of margarine, though in moderation. Reduce your use of corn oil and safflower oil if possible.

Feature cold-water fish, such as salmon, cod, and herring. Ideally, every child should have a minimum of two or three servings a week of fresh fish.

Include nuts and seeds. A rich assortment of raw nuts and seeds is best. Put them in salads, cereals, and casseroles. They’re also great as snacks.

Emphasize a changing variety of cooked and raw vegetables.

Include plenty of fresh fruits, particularly those currently in season.

Favor whole grains. Whole grain breads, pastas, rice, and cereals are the way to go.

Serve a wide array of foods that are fresh, locally grown, and full of color (which indicates the presence of nutrients). Serve fruits and vegetables seasonally to ensure that your child gets the greatest possible range of nutrients.

Watch out for “monochromatic” eating patterns. If your child eats only white foods, such as rice, bananas, bread, and macaroni and cheese, she’s missing out on nutrients.

Supplement your child’s diet with an adequate variety of brain-building vitamins, minerals, and other essential nutrients.

Things to Limit or Eliminate from Your Child’s Diet

Just as there are foods that you should promote in abundance, there are other foods that you should work to keep out of your child’s diet.

Refined sugar. This means candy, cakes, and even juices . Occasional treats are okay, but they shouldn’t be part of a child’s daily diet. Watch out for drinks (including fruit juices labeled 100% natural), as they often contain enormous amounts of sugar.

Caffeine. Caffeine has no nutritional value. It’s a stimulant that may affect your child’s behavior, especially his ability to sleep well. In addition, caffeine is a diuretic and may contribute to dehydration.

Trans fats. These fats are found in hydrogenated oils. Most commercial baked goods are loaded with these terrible fats. Buy whole wheat, whole grain, and minimally processed cereal products instead. Avoid fried foods, which are usually cooked in hydrogenated oils (and which, in the Netherlands, have been outlawed as a public health hazard).

Dairy products. Limit dairy intake to three to five servings per week, especially in small children. I recommend this because dairy-based foods are the number one cause of food allergies in children, and kids with food allergies often exhibit behavioral problems. If your child tolerates milk, I recommend buying only organic milk to avoid the hormones routinely fed to cows. If you feel that your child would benefit from an alternative, try rice or soy milk, both of which also provide calcium.

Soda. Avoid it altogether, as it has no nutritional value whatsoever. The caffeine it contains leaches vital nutrients out of a child’s system, and the sugar only wreaks havoc on the metabolic system. Also, a diet high in soda is likely to be low in more nutritional beverages such as milk or fruit juice.

Excessive carbohydrates. If there is a history in your family of mood disorders, alcoholism, or depressive symptoms, your child may need a high-protein diet. Along with being a better, more stable energy source, a high-protein diet will also help a child who struggles with obesity. And it will feed his brain.

The above is an excerpt from the book Please Don’t Label My Child

by Scott M. Shannon, MD with Emily Heckman

Published by Rodale, Inc.; August 2007;$25.95US/$31.95CAN; 978-1-57954-682-3

Copyright © 2007 Scott M. Shannon, MD with Emily Heckman

Reprinted from: Please Don’t Label My Child by Scott M. Shannon, MD with Emily Heckman.© 2007 by Scott M. Shannon, MD with Emily Heckman. Permission granted by Rodale, Inc., Emmaus, PA 18098. Available wherever books are sold or directly from the publisher by calling (800) 848-4735 or visit their website at www.rodalestore.com.

Author

Scott M. Shannon, MD, is a pediatric psychiatrist who is board-certified in general psychiatry, child/ adolescent psychiatry, and holistic medicine. A past president of the American Holistic Medical Association, he currently has a private practice in holistic child psychiatry and serves as medical director of four residential treatment centers for children and teens in northern Colorado. Dr. Shannon shares his vision for transforming the care of children with chronic illness of any nature via The Center for the Whole Child (www.forthewholechild.org). He lives in Fort Collins, Colorado, with his wife and two children.

Emily Heckman is a professional writer who lives in New York City.

If you have a child that has received a diagnoses of diabetes, you may be tempted to give in to fear. It can be an overwhelming revelation to a parent. You may also be tempted to succumb to guilt. After all, if you had done something differently, this may never have happened. But you need to keep the perspective that we can’t always know what actions will have what results.
From what little we know, the greatest contribution you may have made to your child’s diabetes, if your child has type 1 diabetes, is your set of genes. In other words, your child has diabetes because your child is your child. So you need to get beyond your guilt and fear for the sake of your child. You must be strong to make sure your child gets the best treatment each day.
Finding Diabetic Care Sponsors
As if life wasn’t busy enough, now you also face daily treatments for your child. You must make sure your child eats only the best foods and takes all of his or her shots. Some people turn to diabetic care sponsors for the assistance they need. Diabetic care sponsors are those people who can help you get through each day, making sure you know how to care for your child’s needs.
The Primary Diabetic Care Sponsors Pool
1. Pediatricians: Pediatricians are experts in taking care of the medical needs of children. They are also experts in teaching parents how to take care of the medical needs of children. A pediatrician can teach you how to give insulin shots. A pediatrician can also teach you how to understand and test blood glucose levels in a diabetic child.
2. Dietitians: Dietitians know how to give our bodies the nutrients they needs. A dietitian specializing in diabetes knows exactly how blood glucose levels react in the long- and short-term to specific foods. Your child’s dietitian can lay out an eating plan for your child to follow for the rest of your child’s life.
More importantly, your child’s dietitian can teach you how to distinguish between good food choices and bad food choices for your child. The dietitian should work with the pediatrician to balance your child’s diet with your child’s insulin doses.
3. Health Scientist
A health scientist specialized in diabetes will know all about how the body of a diabetic reacts to things such as food and exercise. They tend to be the most up-to-date individuals in research done on diabetes. They can help you get your child on the most balanced lifestyle possible to provide the best health possible. In the long-term the health scientist specializing in diabetes is your child’s best chance for a normal, long life.
4. Mental Health Specialist: This is someone in the field of psychology or psychiatry who can help you deal with the stresses involved in caring for a diabetic child, so that you’ll be there for your child when he/she needs you. You should never feel ashamed if you are finding it hard to cope.
There can be a lot of anguish and stress involved in raising a child with diabetes and sometimes we need help to cope with the added pressures and constant fears that a parent of a diabetic child has to face each day.

Anxiety disorders can effect people of all walks of life, ethnic backgrounds, and age groups. Child anxiety attacks are not only possible, they are probably happening more than doctors realize. This condition seems to especially effect teenagers and can persist into young adulthood.
Symptoms of a Child Anxiety Attack
The symptoms of a child anxiety attack are generally the same as an adult having an anxiety attack would feel. A child anxiety attack may start with a psychological symptom, such as a persistent and strong feeling of dread or fear. This is then followed by physical symptoms, the same as an adult would experience: racing heart, chest discomfort, numbness or tingling in the extremities, et cetera. Also common among child anxiety sufferers are diarrhea, stomach pain, headaches, nausea, and shortness of breath.
Effects of Child Anxiety Attacks
Even though anxiety attacks generally don’t cause any direct physical damage, the effects on a child’s psyche can be very noticeable. Children suffering from child anxiety attacks often have trouble concentrating in school, and may show an overall lower ability to learn or make decisions. Often child anxiety attacks can be triggered by social situations, so the child may attempt to isolate themselves to try and avoid triggering a child anxiety attack.
There are many different kinds of child anxiety disorders: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), acute stress disorder, social or general phobias, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and adjustment disorders with anxiety, to name just a few. Many of these involve child anxiety disorders that focus on specific situations, people, objects, et cetera.
Helping Your Child
If your child is experiencing anything that you suspect may be child anxiety attacks, you should take them to see a doctor. He will be able to diagnose whether there is anything physically wrong, and if not, will be able to recommend some treatments that can help.
Generally, child anxiety is treated the same way as adult anxiety: with medication and therapy. Your doctor will be able to prescribe medications that will help control your child’s anxiety attacks. The therapy will help them to overcome the fears that are at the root of the child anxiety attacks.
At home, try and keep your child’s life as stress-free as possible. Don’t be overbearing or put too much pressure on them to be perfect. Don’t argue with your husband or wife where they can hear you. Stress from a bad home life can really take its toll on a child’s mind. Rather, make sure they feel loved and secure, and that they know they will always be loved even if they don’t get that “A”. You’ll find that reducing the stress your child feels can help their recovery quite a bit.

When a divorce or dissolution of marriage is brought before the family court, child visitation is considered at the same time and according to similar factors as child custody. The term stands for the time in which the non-custodial parent is allowed to meet or visit with his/her child. However, under certain circumstances a parent can be denied child visitation or child custody in the case of sole physical custody. Child visitation is often associated with the term “parenting plan,” which typically outlines the type of legal custody and physical custody of each parent and can also define when the child is to visit or be with the non-custodial parent. Parents can reach such an agreement on their own, this is the best case, or the court can decide on this matter, which is often the worst case scenario.

Typically, the best situation for a child in a divorce, child custody, and child visitation matter is when both parents manage to solve their personal differences to reach an agreement or parenting plan or child visitation schedule out of court. In this case, any agreements reached between both parents can become the parenting plan. When a parenting plan is created and child visitation and child custody issues are resolved, it may not require anymore matters to be brought to the court even if the child is very young. A decade ago, the family courts would often give infant visitation guidelines preventing the non-custodial parent from spending a lot of time with his/her child. Such provisions are not valid anymore, but rather frequent and continuous contact with both parents is encouraged. Off court agreements does not necessarily need to be translated in a written contract and signed by both parents. However, parents may be well advised to have a written and signed parenting plan for future reference in case a child custody or child visitation dispute arises. It can also be used as a stipulation between both parties and then issued as a court order for future enforcement purposes.

Now, what if the parents are not able to reach an agreement on child visitation or child custody? Both parents will often be required to participate in a mediation process before having a court hearing or before a judge hears the case. Typically, the two parents will be assisted to work out a parenting plan by a third-party or mediator, who can be an experienced attorney or social worker. Many child visitation and child custody issues find a happy ending through mediation sessions resulting in a parenting plan agreement, which can then be presented as a stipulation ad then as a court order.

Generally, the worst case is when mediation fails. In this situation, the next step is typically for a court hearing in order to solve the issues. Judges nowadays often require custody evaluations of the family by experts in the field of child psychiatry, psychology or mental health. Licensed social workers can also be called to present evidence for consideration by the court. Once all pieces of evidence have been presented, the court will typically make its decision. This is the worst case child custody and child visitation dispute method because it can be very complex, expensive, and long-draw out. In some highly contested child custody and child visitation cases, child custody and child visitation disputes will eventually result in denying child custody and child visitation rights to one of the parent.

© 2007 Child Custody CoachChild Custody Coach supplies information, online materials, and coaching services to parents in the field of child custody, namely, divorce, child custody and visitation, child custody evaluations, 730 evaluations, parenting, and all issues related to child custody and divorce. “How to Win Child Custody – Proven Strategies that can Win You Custody and Save You Thousands in Attorney Cost!” is a unique child custody strategy guide written by The Custody Coach and made available by Child Custody Coach in an easy to read, understand, and apply E-Book format. Custody Match is an online consumer and family law attorney matching service to help you in your search for the right attorney for your divorce or child custody case. Custody Match can help you find the right family law attorney, divorce lawyer, or child custody attorney in your area.

Everyone has seen the news stories, read the newspaper reports, and has discussed the real issues of bullying. For many of us, it’s simply a

matter of saying, “I’m glad that it hasn’t happened to my child.”

Or has it?

Many times our children are afraid to tell us that they are being victimized.

This may be for a variety of reasons. They may be afraid that parents will think of them as being weak. They may have been threatened that bad things will happen if they tell anyone. He/she might feel guilty about ‘making a fuss over nothing’. Maybe the child feels like they deserve the bullying. They may also feel that they cannot talk to you.

There are a number of reasons that you may or may not know about.

We will try to help you recognize the signs and assist you in resolving the problem of bullying in this article.

Bullying can include one or more of the following types:

threats, verbal abuse, being left out, name calling, harassment, teasing, hitting, pushing, and ignoring.

If you look at the list above and think back to when you were in school, you are likely to relate to one or more of these things happening to you

or someone you know. The degree and effect these actions have on a child determines the action that we, as parents, need to take in order to help.

What to look for:

1. Bruises, cuts, or scratches

2. Sudden fears

3. Excessive headaches and stomach aches

4. Nightmares

5. Bed wetting

6. Afraid to go to school

7. Changes in eating habits

8. Changes in sleeping habits

9. Withdrawn

10. Broken or missing possessions

11. Pretending to be sick in order to stay home from school

12. Mood swings

13. Abnormal amount of calls from school wanting to come home sick

If you see these signs, do not jump to the conclusion that there is a bully in your child’s life.

Think of other things that may be bothering

your child. Has there been a divorce in your family? Is there a new baby? Have you recently moved?

If the answer is bullying, it may be a difficult subject for your child to talk about. How you approach the situation will make all the difference in how it is rectified.

Try a gentle approach. Your child may deny being bullied. This may just be an excuse to avoid talking about it. Let them know that no child

deserves to be bullied. Also, explain to them that bullying is more than just physical actions. Review the types of bullying with your children.

When they feel that they are in danger, reassure them that asking for help is not tattling.

Your child may be too distressed to talk about it. Try to avoid pressuring them into giving you all the information at one time. Let your child know that you want to help and you are willing to listen anytime he/she wants to talk.

You may get angry yourself about the bullying, but be careful. It’s okay to say to your child that you are upset or angry, but remain calm. Your child will feel safe when they know that you are in control of your emotions and the situation.

Whatever you do, don’t dismiss the bullying as simply a little teasing.

Your child could be feeling a lot of stress. When a child is bullied, whether it is verbal or physical, it is humiliating and can damage self-esteem as well as overall mental health.

Sometimes it is not another child that is being the bully; it might be an adult. For example, it could be his/her teacher, a neighbor, or a friend’s parent. In any event, tread lightly as you uncover the problem. Once you know who the bully is, you must have a plan to defeat the problem.

The key is to make sure your child feels secure as you remedy the bullying situation.

If you have determined that your child has become the victim of a bully, then you MUST intervene and correct the problem.

The question is, how?

It is difficult to reason with a bully. They tend to be very troubled children with poor social skills and tumultuous family situations. Most of them crave affection and acceptance.

Please don’t advise your child to ‘fight back’. He/she could get hurt. The very nature of bullying is that it is done by a person or a group of people who have power over their victim in some way – either physical, through size or strength or numbers, or psychological, through surprise or manipulation. Children who are bullied feel powerless in those situations and have very little chance of defending themselves.

The bullying must be stopped as quickly as possible. The longer it continues, the more likely the target child will become hurt both mentally and physically. Some victims eventually begin expressing their anger toward younger and smaller children, or in more violent ways.

Since the majority of bullying takes place in your child’s’ school, we will focus on fixing the problem there. By no means does this mean you can’t apply some of the principles we are talking about in other areas that bullying may be taking place. The first thing you must do is discuss what your intentions are with your child. Your child may already be feeling humiliated and may feel even worse if you do something at the school to embarrass him/her.

Reassure your child that help is available and that this is not something they will be facing alone. Tell him/her that you will be talking to the school, but you will not cause a scene or embarrass them in any way. Discuss possible solutions with your child. Discuss all possibilities, no matter how unrealistic some may be. Talking through it can help you think of good possibilities.

Get a clear picture from your child as to what has been going on. Who has been doing the bullying? Where and when? How often? Any witnesses?

Have they told anyone? Keep notes so that you can refer to them when you talk with the school.

If you feel that the situation is an emergency and you feel that your child is in danger mentally or physically, you must contact the school immediately and set up a meeting. If there is a school resource officer, have him/her present. The parents of the bully should also be at the meeting. The fact of the matter is that the bully’s parents often deny the problem. They may defend their child and rationalize the behavior. Be prepared for this and keep your cool. Keep the meeting focused on YOUR child and putting an end to the bullying.

Think about what you expect from the school and ask what the school will do to stop the bullying. Let them know what you and your child would like them to do. IE: Make sure that the allegations will be taken seriously and the complaint is kept confidential to protect the child. Suggest that more supervision is provided during break times and in hallways. Instruct all staff to keep an eye on those doing the bullying, and that adults will supervise those areas where bullying has taken place.

Ask the school to send you a copy of their policy concerning bullying and make sure that the procedures are being followed. Also, request that you receive a copy of the content and recommendations of your meeting in writing.

One very good way to deal with a bully situation is ‘Avoidance’. Coach your child on how to avoid the bully. Have him/her walk home using a different route everyday. Stay close to teachers on the playground. Come inside the minute that the bully appears in the neighborhood. Eventually

the bully will lose interest in your child.

Sometimes it can help to talk to other parents you trust. Ask them if they have ever had to deal with bullies and how they handled it.

In some situations, your child’s actions may be unknowingly inviting the bullying. The child who the bully ‘targets’ is typically small for his/her age, sensitive, quiet, and well liked by adults. The bully’s victim may not have many friends; therefore other children aren’t likely to come to his/her defense.

A child who is feeling vulnerable is more likely to be picked on. There may have been recent changes to your home and family life, such as the birth of a new baby, or a separation, or a death in the family, which may have your child feeling more vulnerable. Talk through any family problems and listen to how your child feels about things. A child who feels heard and understood will feel more able to cope with the situation.

We have found through our research that many times a child who is doing the bullying has some problems themselves. There is something causing them to act in the way they do. They may be being bullied themselves, or have been in the past. Many times it is from their own household. Part of the solution to the bullying problem is to try and help the bully!

Even though you can not change what has already happened, there is a lot you can do to help your child feel safer and to avoid being bullied.

The biggest and most powerful is by building his/her self-esteem and self-confidence. The bullies will look for weaker targets.

Following are a few basic strategies you can share with your children:

Ignore the bully

Walk away from the bully

Refuse to fight

Ask for help

We wish great health and happiness for you and your family!

Steve McChesney

Get free anti-bully tips in your email

http://www.bullyfreekids.com

EDUCATING A CHILD

          ”Educating a child” is really a tough task.  Understanding the sentiment of the child & giving him/her training has been a difficult task for everybody from time immemorial. Whether it is at home, school or PTA; complaining against a child is a common thing to be heard. The complaints are for ex: – child is not studying at home; he is always playing & not obeying the parent’s advice, etc. There was a time when child was the center of attraction and medium of fun & enjoyment but now-a days he is a burden in the family. No body has the time to spare even one minute with a child. Today, child is helpless & isolated. Then comes a question as a parent that ‘how to give time to my child in this busy life?’ Teacher also thinks about the method that ‘how to train the child in an interesting & enjoyable environment?’ ‘What technique he should follow in the classroom to impart education?’

Don’t worry. To get rid of your worries here are some tips to follow: –

 

1.     UNDERSTANDING THE CHILD

           Understanding the child’s psychology is very important to know his/her personality. Every act of a child is somehow creative & innovative. Why does a child crack a toy? Why does he/she shout in a loud voice? Why does he/she draw on the wall? Just think. Are they not the work of their creativity & innovation? A child cracks a toy to discover the sound coming from it. He/she shouts in a loud voice to experiment different sounds. He/she draws the wall to beautify the house like the colourful nature outside.

 

2.  SPREADING LOVE

  Love has the power to give the life even to a dead man. In purana everybody might have come across the story of “Satyavan & Savitri” where ‘Savitri’ saved the life of ‘Satyavan’ through the power of love & purity. The language of love touches & changes the heart of a child. A mother can understand it better. Spreading the love towards your child is the only solution of every problem. It’s better to give time for your child & understand his/her problem and give solace & suggestion instead of using stick/hand all of a sudden without understanding anything. Child always waits for one who can understand his noble world. Without understanding the child the punishment by the parents or teachers is a means of torture & harassment. It’s in no way help a child to correct him/her.

 

3.  RECOGNIZING CHILD’S POTENTIALITY

          Every child has immense potentiality within. Our work is to inspire the child in his own pace of creativity & innovation. Then only you can guide him/her to reach at his/her highest level. Recognizing the unique personality of a child & encouraging him is our duty. What do we do instead of recognizing & encouraging the qualities within our child? Generally, we scold the child when he starts painting, dancing or joking & instruct to study. All these activities that a child starts spontaneously out of his/her own interest can be given a right shape to build him/her into a master of that art.

 

4.   BECOMING THE EXAMPLE

           Be an example of a unique personality before a child. You have no right to find out the fault of your child, if, you, yourself are in the fault. A child always tries to ape the qualities of the elders. Thus, be that, what you want from the child to be. Be careful while spreading the anger, sorrows in your family. It is sure that your child is following your every act & receiving everything. Don’t feel that he is very small & knowing nothing. Your each activity has its impact on your child. The first school of the child is his sweet home.

 

5.   OBSERVING THE CHILD

           Be an observer & suggest the child whenever & wherever it’s necessary. Always unnecessarily advising the child also does not impact much. Don’t force your child to do a thing. Every soul has it’s own way of creative living style. Observe every step of the child & try to extract the capacities within him.

 

6.  REINFORCING POSITIVELY

          Instead of always identifying the mistakes, encourage your child whenever you see a good point within him. Always identifying a mistake & scolding is no way help the child in emotional development. Use the ways of positive reinforcement.  Praise him with the words like ‘good’, ‘excellent’, ‘very good’ etc.

 

7.  BECOMING A FRIEND

           Be a friend to the child. Friendship can help you to understand a child more & more. A child expresses his difficulties/problems only to his/her friend; he/she may be his/her mother, father or teacher. Once you exhibit your role as a taskmaster or ringmaster to your child, you spoil everything. The child starts hating you & hiding everything to you. He develops fear to you. That’s why some parents & teachers are found to be in the problem that the child is not free & frank to tell his problem. Actually it’s not the mistake of the child. It’s the fault of the parents, teachers & elders who lack the art of ‘how to be a friend of the child’.

             God has created two noble & beautiful things in this world, one is nature & other is child. Everybody knows that due to the simple & pure character, the child is regarded as the incarnation of God. There are many things to learn even from a small child. For ex: -child takes everything as game, if we also accept every work as game we won’t be worried & tensed. So everybody should learn how to understand a child & respect his natural rights.

                                                                                By Mr.Harekrushna Behera The author is a teacher in Social Science,

 can be contacted through  

  E-Mail-  hare_321ku@rediffmail.com

You see a child struggling to keep his balance on his bike. His wobbly on his wheels, and he seems really uncertain. Eventually he just topples over, and he looks disappointed. You help him up and encourage him; “Just keep trying and you’ll eventually get it.”

You know that with kids we need to continually encourage them to keep trying so they don’t get discouraged. You want them to keep striving for their goals.

Yet, for most people when it comes to themselves they do anything but encourage themselves to keep trying. When times get tough what do most do? Pack it in and call it a day. Whatever happened to the “just keep trying and you’ll eventually get it?”

If you are striving to achieve anything, you need to continually encourage yourself to keep going, and to never give up. A positive psychology starts with the way you talk to yourself. Here are some ways you can do this:Don’t criticise yourself:

We all make mistakes; in fact, mistakes contain valuable lessons that we all need to learn in order to achieve our objectives. To develop a positive psychology don’t call yourself names, or beat yourself up by saying things like “You can’t do anything right!” Would you do this to the child who fell off his bike?

Tell yourself that you made a good effort, and that next time you will try harder. Learn from the mistake and try to implement it into your next effort. Don’t overgeneralise:

If you make a mistake on a test, or in a specific situation, this doesn’t mean you are a failure and you are no good at anything! It just means that what you tried during this situation wasn’t appropriate for what you wanted to achieve.

Try something different next time and improve your effort with the knowledge that with each try you are getting closer to achieving your goals. Understand that difficulties are temporary:

If you don’t achieve something when you try, don’t think that because you didn’t succeed this one time that you will not succeed again. Difficulty is only temporary. It arises to let us know that what we’re trying right now isn’t really working, and we need to try something different to succeed. People who give up never understand this, because when they face difficult times they never try something different.

Accept the lessons that adversity has to offer and change your direction if need be. Difficulties are only temporary, but positive psychology is enduring. Some things you just cannot control:

There things in life that you can control, and there are other things you cannot control. You can control your thoughts, your actions, and the way you react to certain situations, but you cannot control how other people think, how they behave, and the weather. Do you sometimes get upset because of the weather? Furthermore, do you allow the weather to dictate your mood? You can’t control the weather, but you can control how you react to it.

Do not get worked up over things that are out of your control. Focus solely on the things you can control and take responsibility for your actions. Only you can dictate what you do and how much you accomplish. Do not allow external forces to influence your thought and actions.

Developing a positive psychology starts with how you perceive mistakes. By seeking the opportunity rather than the difficulty in mistakes, you will be setting yourself up for success.

Parenting has often been referred to as life’s most difficult job, and it seems as though in recent years, this job has become increasingly more rigorous. Technological developments in recent years have given rise to novel methods for children and adults to access information. Many of these advancements are aimed specifically at the youth culture, though are responsible for a gradual transformation of the entire culture at large. Adults however, often seem a step slow in recognizing the magnitude that these new innovations will have upon all of our lives and the lives of today’s children.In the United States in general, but especially here in Los Angeles, the media is extremely influential in our lives. Today, given the meteoric rise in the accessibility of new technology, more information is currently available for public consumption than at any other time in history. Children and adolescents are especially impressionable and often crave what Heinz Kohut termed “selfobjects” in order to help cope with the psychological rigors of youth. This hunger for connection to someone or something that feels bigger than one’s self is a normal psychological process, however in today’s media dominated culture in Los Angeles, pre-teens and adolescents seem especially vulnerable to potentially destructive influences…A 1995 study at the University of Maryland studied the phenomenon of the idealization of celebrities amongst several cohorts of teen and pre-teen groups including kids 10-11, 12-13, 14-15 and 16-17. The study produced results indicating that each group evidenced some degree of idolization and modeling behavior related to the media created celebrities that were included in the study. The highest degree of idolization and modeling behavior however was noted in the age group of 10-11 year olds. The study suggests that idolization is a developmentally appropriate response to being a child, and certainly this is as true today as it has ever been. This psychological phenomenon was termed ‘narcissistic idealism’ by Kohut who believed that adolescents engaged in this process in order to compensate for the narcissistic injury of the inevitable failure of one’s parents to live up to their child’s lofty needs and desires. According to Kohut, this compensatory process of idealization thus becomes necessary to fill the void left by our parent’s failures to be superhuman. An adolescent’s focus for new compensatory selfobjects quite naturally turns to the bigger than life personas of celebrities who are often anointed by society, especially here in Los Angeles, as god-like in nature.This process of idolizing celebrities is certainly not specific to today’s culture. Television played a large role in America’s obsession with the Beatles in the 1960’s, creating an unprecedented wave of teenage idol worship at the time. Arguably there has since been no indication that a teenager’s hero worship of the Beatles in the 1960’s produced any negative psychological consequences, but the climate in today’s celebrity obsessed Los Angeles seems to present greater dangers. The ability of the internet to promulgate information that reaches millions instantly has created a scenario where adults and adolescents are inundated with the seductive pull of salacious celebrity gossip. One can now access this type of information without even intending to. A trip to seemingly any grocery or convenience store is culminated by the familiar sight of big, glossy magazines advertising the misbehavior of the newest young star or starlet. This information has always been accessible, though in the past it was often relegated to appear in the same publications that detailed the latest alien abduction or Elvis sighting. It seems that in today’s media driven culture, celebrity news is desired by the masses to such an extent that at least five different magazines, two entire cable channels and several more primetime television shows on major, public networks are all devoted to the goal of feeding the collective, insatiable hunger for news on celebrities. More often than not this news focuses on celebrities who have fallen from grace.The widespread infectious nature of this public desire for celebrity seems all too acceptable here in Los Angeles where celebrities, paparazzi, and civilians breathe the same air and walk the same streets. Entertainment is a major aspect of the fabric of our culture which was built on the desire to be rich and famous and the need to be entertained. As a culture we devour and consume information in order to feed this need for constant entertainment which seems to be both supplied and created by the media. This hunger for entertainment seems to be most pronounced amongst adolescents who are driven toward the egocentric filling of selfobject needs. Those who engage in the compensatory narcissistic idealism that Kohut described seem most likely to be impacted by our media crazed culture in which one can easily discover what parties their favorite young celebrity attended last night, what they drank, ingested, inhaled or injected, and who they spent the night with. The celebrity party lifestyle is of course nothing new to the average person’s awareness, but the video, photos and detailed blogs of each celebrity’s own egocentric gratification of his or her own needs through sex, drugs and alcohol are novel. A potential danger of the normalization of this behavior is that celebrities today essentially live in a consequence-free environment, protected from real life consequences by their own aura, mystique and wealth. The average adolescent may feel invincible, but of course is not immune to the very real ramifications of the potential emulation of their favorite hero’s behavior. Children may not try everything they see on television, but 1995’s study at the University of Maryland indicates that late latency aged children and early adolescents are most prone to engage in the behaviors normalized by their idols.The potential impact of the idealization of today’s celebrities by today’s youth will only be identified years down the road, but one can now at least speculate that the burden in aiding adolescents in Los Angeles today to deal with these issues will fall upon both parents and therapists to face the massive, potentially negative influence of the media in our culture today.

Do you have strategies in place to help your child succeed in their sport? Do you have a plan to be the best sports parent possible? What are you doing now that helps your child reach their fullest potential?

As President of The International Mental Game Coaching Association, one of my goals is to spread the concepts of mental toughness and self-coaching throughout the world. I want children to become more self-reliant, have higher self-esteem, make better decisions, learn better judgment, manage their stress, engage the zone in performance and achieve to their full potential. As their parent, you are an integral part of this success path.

Here are some sports parenting success strategies you can use to help your child.

1. Create a supportive, organized environment the day of competitions.

2. Help them get enough practice before games to make their performance automatic and confident.

3. Manage their schedule so they have balance between sports, school and social activities.

4. Reduce their overall life stress so they can be refreshed and relaxed going into practices and games.

5. Help them create and maintain realistic expectations about their sport.

6. Be a great listener and be empathic when they need to share strong emotions, especially after a loss.

7. Get to know their coaches, and understand their coaching styles, systems and expectations, and help your child work within these.

8. Make sports participation fun and stress learning and life lessons.

9. Allow your child to make as many of their own sports decisions as possible, and to learn from those decisions. Don’t shield them from the reality of their behaviors. Allow natural consequences to teach them about the world.

10. View sports as a life-long learning process, one that you and your child can share.

So there you have it, the top 10 success strategies sports parents can use to make their kids experiences in sport excellent.

To read our companion article, The Fears Kids Have In Sport: How Parents Can Help Their Child Succeed In Sports
By Identifying And Processing Their Child’s Mental
And Emotional Concerns, go here:

http://www.mentalgamecoaching.com/IMGCAArticles/ParentsAndSports/KidsFearsInSport.html

For a comprehensive overview of your child’s mental abilities you need an assessment instrument that identifies their complete mental strengths and weaknesses. For a free, easy-to-take sports psychology assessment tool, visit:
http://www.mentalgamecoach.com/Assessments/MentalGameOfSports.html



We also offer extensive resources with which to improve your child’s entire mental game.